New job..

I started my own online store today selling candles, wax melts, warmers and other home products. I’m so excited. But afraid at the same time imI afraid. I just ordered the items. So in the up coming weeks I’ll be up and running.

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Final divorce court

My divorce will be finalized tomorrow after 4 years. It’s bittersweet. For one, my dream of having 1 marriage is bcrumbled and buried. One the other hand, it’ll be a new chapter in my life along with my children. It’ll be a day of my freedom from my abuser. It’ll be a day where my kids will know it’s over. That we’llbe ok.

Silence..

I can remember every horrible thing that was done to me. Ever detail, smell, act, and word. WHY?? Because he was not well. He struggled with his own demons and let them run out wild and free. With every punch, kick, push and slap, he let them live. The smell or sweat dripped on his face as he relentlessly abused me. His words were ruthless, enough to lose my own identity. Enough to imprison me, in my thoughts, mind and soul. I lost who I was before he came along. After 3 1/2 years, I’m still fighting, not him physically but mentally. I cry almost everyday. I scream in my own head ” What’s wrong, he’s gone!!” But that doesn’t mean a thing. My mind is confused and dark and hopeless. I put on a face mask of a smile, with the expression of always being happy. But why??? Because I’m fighting the demons he planted and grew in my mind and soul. I’m trying to heal the invisible scars he left behind.